I was sexually active at 12

It’s now 12:15 and my arm is killing me

Read More

My friend Jay recently had twin girls, and wanted to name them after him.

So I suggested Kaye and Elle.

Read More

Wife: "I shaved down there. You know what that means..."

Husband: "Yeah, the drain is clogged again."

Read More

What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas?

GLOVES! Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present.

Read More

Yogurt on the bus [NSFW]

On the bus today, I tapped the woman in front of me on the shoulder, and said, "Excuse me, but there's some semen on your sweater."

She said, "Oh, it's probably just yogurt..."

I replied, "Maybe, but I'm pretty sure I don't ejaculate yogurt."

Read More

What does a black rectangle have in common with the girl I met last night?

you tap it once and it's gone

Read More

After an amazing 69 with his girlfriend, Kevin remembered he had a dentist appointment.

He was afraid that the dentist would smell pussy on his breath so he brushed his teeth 7 times and on top of that 2 liters of mouthwash.
As he arrived at the dentist he chewed 5 strong mints too.
The dentist told him to take a seat. Feeling confident & relaxed he opened his mouth wide.
The dentist got close enough & said, "Man did you have a 69 before you came here?"
Kevin, shocked says, "Why, No! Does my breath smell like pussy?"

The dentist says, "No, but your forehead smells like ass!!!"

Read More