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Thứ Sáu, 15 tháng 11, 2019
A small boy asks his Dad, "Daddy, what is politics?"
Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me Capitalism. Your mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the People. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense." So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. The little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father having sex with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about." The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in Deep Shit."
Edit: Thank you for silver
Superman is flying though the air super horny...
When he notices Wonder Woman laying totally naked on top of a skyscraper, legs spread wide open.
He thinks to himself, man, I’m Superman… Faster than a speeding bullet. I can go down there, fuck the shit out of her as fast as I can and be out of there before she feels a thing.
He swoops down as fast as he can and within a second, he’s gone.
“What was that?!” screamed Wonder Woman.
“I don’t know” the Invisible Man said. “But my asshole is killing me.”
Headache & testicles
Joe had suffered from really bad headaches for the last 20 years.
He eventually decides to go and see a Doctor.
The Doctor says, 'Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches.
The bad news is that it will require removing your testicles.
You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache.
The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles.'
Joe is shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for.
He had no choice but to go under the knife. The surgery cost him US$ 75,000.
When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself.
As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.
He saw a Men's clothing store and thought, 'That's what I need... A new Suit.'
He entered the shop and told the salesman, 'I'd like a new Suit.'
The elderly Tailor eyed him briefly and said, 'Let's see... size 44 would fit fine.
Joe laughed, 'That's right, how did you know?'
'Been in the business 60 years sir!' the tailor said.
Joe tried on the suit it fitted perfectly.
As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, 'How about a new shirt?'
Joe thought for a moment and then said, 'Sure.'
The salesman eyed Joe and said, 'Let's see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck.'
Joe was surprised, 'That's right, how did you know?'
'Been in the business 60 years sir.'
Joe tried the shirt and it fitted perfectly.
Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, 'How about some new Underwear?'
Joe thought for a moment and said, 'Sure..'
The salesman said, 'Let's see..... size 36.
Joe laughed, 'Ah ha! You got it wrong this time! I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years old..'
The salesman shook his head, 'You can't wear a size 34 sir. A size 34 would press your Testicles up against the base of your spine and give you hell of a Headache.'
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