Well son, Teresa is an anagram. If you rearrange the letters, it spells “Easter”.
-Oh, so you named her that on account of how much you and mom love Easter.
Yes, that’s right, Alan.
-Thanks, Dad!
Chủ Nhật, 17 tháng 11, 2019
I was cleaning out my closet and found an old pair of jeans on the top shelf. Inside of them was a huge rubber penis. I showed my wife what I found and asked for an explanation.
She said, “Honey, you know I never lie. This way, when I tell you that you have a huge cock in your pants, I’m not lying.”
Two men were washed ashore during World War I.
Their ship, an aging minesweeping model, had wrecked off the coast. As they sought shelter in a makeshift camp, one of them managed to salvage a radio and quickly telegraphed an SOS with their coordinates.
To their surprise, a ship responded within the hour, saying it could be at their location in about two weeks.
The older soldier shook his head, saying he'd rather take his chances swimming out to the wrecked ship to try and repair it.
"You'd really rather play with that old mine craft all day?" the young soldier scoffed.
The older man shrugged. "It's better than a fortnight."
A 13 year old boy walks into the whorehouse...
and asks for sex with a girl who suffers from an STD. Aghast, the madame asks him why on earth he'd want an STD.
He replies "It's not for me, exactly. I want to give it to the babysitter."
She asks him "Why do you want your babysitter to have the clap?"
He replies "Well, she'll give it to my dad, my dad will give it to the upstairs maid, the maid will give it to the postman, and the postman will give it to my mom."
Horrified, she screams "Why do you want your mother to have the clap?"
The kid giggles, and says "She'll give it to the milkman, and he's the SOB who ran over my bike!"
(NSFW) A blonde, a redhead and a brunette sitting in the waiting room of an OB/Gyn office. All three are about six months pregnant.
The brunette starts a conversation with the other two women by saying, “I read an article that says you can determine what gender your baby will be if you know what position you were in during sex that was at the time of conception. I know I was on top when my husband and I were having sex and I got pregnant, so the article said I should have a girl.”
The redhead says, “well I was on bottom when my husband and I had sex so I must be having a boy”
The blonde starts wailing and crying “oh god! I’m going to have puppies!!”
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