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Thứ Tư, 20 tháng 11, 2019

An old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up.

The doctor asked him how he was feeling, and he said, ‘Things are great and I’ve never felt better.’

I now have a young bride who is pregnant with my child.

“So what do you think about that Doc?”

The doctor considered his question for a minute and  then began to tell a story.

I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid hunter and never misses a season.

One day he was setting off to go hunting.

In a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun.

As he neared a lake, he came across a very large male beaver sitting at the water’s edge.

He realized he’d left his gun at home and so he couldn’t shoot the magnificent creature.

Out of habit he raised his cane, aimed it at the animal as if it were his favorite hunting rifle and went bang bang.

Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead.

Now, what do you think of that? asked the doctor.

The old man said, “Logic would strongly suggest that somebody else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver.”

The doctor replied, “My point exactly.”

What do you call a book club that's been stuck on one book for years?

Church.

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's ok, he woke up.

I own the chewed pencil that Shakespeare used to write his famous works.

He used to chew on it so much that I can’t tell whether it’s 2B or not 2B.

Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?

There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.

My wife got really mad at me because I have no sense of direction.

So i packed my stuff and right.

Is buttcheeks one word?

Or should I spread them apart?