All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge.

All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge.

"I should be in charge," said the brain, "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."

"I should be in charge," said the blood, "Because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd waste away."

"I should be in charge," said the stomach," Because I process food and give all of you energy."

"I should be in charge," said the legs, " ;because I carry the body wherever it needs to go."

"I should be in charge," said the eyes, "Because I allow the body to see where it goes."

"I should be in charge," said the rectum, "Because Im responsible for waste removal."

All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight. Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery, and the blood was toxic. They all decided that the rectum should be the boss.

The Moral of the story?

Even though the others do all the work... The ass hole is usually in charge.

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You'll never hear a Hindu tell a Yo Mamma joke...

They consider cows to be sacred.

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A new element was discovered!

Scientists’ initial findings on the new substance had lead them to believe it was highly explosive, however they simply could not determine what forces were to trigger this reaction.

They dropped it from the highest cliffs, and crushed it in the deepest oceans.

They tried igniting in it the sunniest of locations, and in the darkest of crevasses.

They subject it to the hottest temperatures they could muster, both natural and manmade.

And yet, the material was unwavering, refusing to yield to any force…until a scientist suggested the impossible.

“What if it only explodes when it’s really cold?”

Out they set to test the theory. Sure enough, as the temperature grew ever colder, the element began to show signs of degradation. Excitedly, they began pushing the temperatures even further into the freezing zone. As the temperatures reached nearer and nearer to 0 Kelvin (absolute cold), the element continued to increasingly react.

Finally, when the temperature reached approximately that of 0 K, there was a blinding flash as the element exploded before their eyes, leaving a gaping hole on the laboratory bench.

As the applause from the team of scientists began to die down, relieved of finally solving the mystery, one of the senior scientists boldly asked, “so what do we name this newfound element?”.

Amongst the thought that ensued, one of the younger scientists was quick to make a suggestion...

“0 K Boomer”

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A man had a bad case of stuttering. He went to many doctors over the years, but none of them could help him. Finally one doctor said to him "I believe I found the reason for your stuttering".

The man asked, "Waah.. waaah.. waah.. what is my pro... proo... problem?"

The doctor replied, "Your penis is very, very large. The weight of your penis is causing a strain on your larynx, and this results in your stuttering. The only solution to this is to perform a penis transplant."

The man was really tired of his stuttering, so he agreed to a transplant. Several days later the doctor called the man up and informed him that they have found a suitable donor. The transplant operation was successfully performed and the man could speak without any stutter.

At first he was happy, but after a while he began to miss his large penis, and how the girls used to love it.

He finally went back to his doctor and said, "Doctor, I am grateful for the opportunity you have given me to speak without a stutter, but I miss my old penis. Please find the transplant donor and tell him that we have to exchange penises back."

The doctor shook his head and replied, "Tha...thaaa...that's im... immm... imm... po.. po.. pooo.. impossible!"

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A traveling salesman knocks on a door and a little boy answers.

The boy is wearing a women’s nightgown, drinking brandy from a snifter, and smoking a joint.

Stunned, the salesman says, ‘excuse me, are your parents home?’

The little boy replies, ‘What the fuck do you think?’

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My deaf girlfriend was talking in her sleep last night.

Damn near poked my eye out.

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A man takes his seat at the Superbowl. He looks over and notices there's an extra seat in between himself and the next guy.

The man says, "Who would ever miss the Superbowl?”

The guy replies, "Well that was my wife’s seat. We have been to the last five Superbowls together, but sadly she passed away.”

The man says back, "That’s terrible, but couldn’t you get another close family member to come with you?”

The guy says, "No. They're all at the funeral."

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