A hoppo
My 4 year old cousin thinks it’s the funniest thing in the world
Thứ Năm, 5 tháng 12, 2019
Me: Sweet dog you got there
Policeman: Yes, this is our new drug-sniffing dog.
Me: Still in training, huh?
Policeman: What do you mean?
Me: Nevermind
A man sees a lady in a bar with a large bosom...
He asks, "Excuse me, can I bite your tits for a thousand dollars?" She says, "Hell yea!" So they go to a secluded corner, and she opens her blouse. The man puts his face in her tits for nearly five minutes. Eventually the lady asks, "Aren't you gonna bite them?" He says, "Nah, it's too expensive."
A midget walks into a brothel NSFW
A midget walks into a brothel with a honeycomb under his arm and a donkey following closely behind. He asks the head mistress for a woman for the evening as his wife had left him.
She says "sure thing but I gotta ask, what's with the honeycomb and the donkey?".
He says "well, my wife found a genie's lamp and her first wish was a home fit for a queen and she ended up with a honeycomb. Then she asked for the nicest ass ever and so she got this very well behaved donkey".
The mistress asks about the third wish and the midget says she wished I had a dick that hung past my knee.
She says "well that doesnt sound so bad".
"It wouldn't be that bad except I used to be 6' 3".
A beautiful woman is sitting next to a teenage boy on a plane.
There is terrible turbulence and then the plane goes into a sudden nose dive. The Captain comes on the intercom and says “I hate to have to tell you this folks, but we might not walk away from this one.”
Everyone begins to panic except for the boy who sheepishly turns to the woman and says, “I hate to trouble you miss, but we might die and I’ve never kissed anyone.”
The woman is at first taken aback but after a moment realizes she might as well make the kid happy in their final moments. She passionately kisses him.
The boy, elated, goes on, “Sorry to bother you again after such a lovely kiss, but we might die and I’ve never felt a breast.”
Again the woman is taken aback but decides there is no harm in it and slides his hand under her shirt.
After a good long feel, the boy again says “you’ve been so kind already but please, I don’t want to die never having gotten a blow job.”
Already committed to helping this boy have new experiences before they die, the woman smiles and begins to undo his belt. Just then the plane levels off.
As everyone exits the plane they shake hands with the captain and congratulate him. The woman walks off the plain she says “thank you so much for saving us from certain death.”
The boy shouts “just a little longer next time dad!”
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