He's just not sure that radiocarbon is the most reliable method.
Thứ Hai, 9 tháng 12, 2019
A woman visits a flower shop to get some flowers for her mother.
As she's perusing, she notices the most gorgeous rose she's ever seen sitting next to the cashier, and inquires about its origin.
"Oh, sorry," the cashier replies. "That one's not for sale. I got that as a gift from a fellow florist for hooking him up with a woman I met yesterday."
"Yesterday?!" she gasps. "How did they hit it off so quickly?"
"Well, he's a wonderful lover, for one. He's a really nice guy, of course. And to top it off," he said, leaning into a whisper, "he's got a 10 inch cock!"
She blushes. "Sounds like a catch to me! Where can I find him?"
"He's just a block over. But fair warning, he's also a little kooky. He's only interested in women named after flowers. If I meet someone like that, I send them his way, and then he sends me the flower as a thank you. Yesterday was Rose, and a week ago, I recommended a woman named Violet to him," he said, indicating a slightly wilted violet in a vase behind him.
The woman thanks him for the info and leaves the shop, bitter about her own name. Undeterred, she visits the well-endowed florist. She steps up to the counter and pointedly says, "I heard you are particularly...skilled in certain areas?"
He smirks. "What is your name?"
Pouting slightly, she replies "Kris."
His smile falters, and his head sinks as he shakes his head.
Kris's heart drops. "Well then...if it's not too much trouble, I'd like some flowers for my mother."
Suddenly, he brightens up again. Without another word, he takes her hand and locks the shop door.
Three hours of mind-altering sex later, she bids him goodbye with a kiss. "And please," he says, "tell your mother she is welcome to as many flowers from my shop as she would like." Taken aback, she promises to convey the message, and calls her mother that night to tell her everything.
The next day, Kris feels like a million bucks and swings by the original florist's shop.
"I just wanted to thank you for telling me about that gentleman! He was AMAZING!"
He smiles sheepishly. "I suppose I should thank you too. I just got another beautiful flower for recommending you to him."
"Really? What flower could he have possibly sent that was named after me?"
The florist sighs. "Chrysanthemum."
A long time ago I read this joke I found so good I wrote it down. I found this note today
Disclaimer: This joke involves gender-based humour and don't actually reflect the my viewpoint about either gender.
So there was this billionare, very sucessful enterpreneur, that decided to invest a large chunk of his funds in a new business: The Husband Shop
The Husband Shop is a 6-floor building, each containing an assortment of husbands bearing more or less the same characteristics, however the next floor has a costier but better selection.
So, this Lady goes to visit the shop and she sees this at the first floor: "At The Husband Shop we strive to present to you the very best in man. This Floor has 100% loyal men".
Quite pleased with what she sees, she goes to the next one and it says: "This Floor 100% loyal men and they are very handsome!".
She investigates further, and on the third floor she sees: "This floor has 100% loyal men, and they are handsome and romantic!"
On the fourth floor she finds: "This floor has 100% loyal men, which are also very handsome, romantic and great with kids!"
The fifth floor had the following: "This floor has 100% loyal men, all of them are very handsome, romantic, great with kids and they'll rock your world in the bed every time!"
She was absolutely amazed by what they had put together, and she knew they had the best for last, so she found this:
"Congratulations! You are the 4,986,221th visitor this year! Sorry, there are no husbands in this floor. We regret to inform we abandoned "The Husband Shop" development as we realized women were nearly impossible to please".
---------------------------------------------------
BONUS JOKE
In order to appeal to both genders (and alleviate the uproar of sexism accusations), the billionare made "The Wife Shop", and they put a lot more effort this time around.
Since the other business became so famous because of the unusual service, a reporter did some digging, and he came back with this:
"Upon arriving 'The Wife Shop', or TWS, the costumer is immediatly greeted by an employee that will explain the concept of the business and will acompany Him or Her through the floors, in the same method they used on The Husband Shop.
The First Floor says: Welcome to The Wife Shop! We keep our promise to strive for excellency, but this time it's all about finding you your perfect wife! This floor has the most gourgeous women you'll ever find.
The second floor says: "This floor has absolutely gorgeous women and they are all incredible in the bedroom.
The 4 remaining floors are yet to be visited".
A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.
Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: ‘What the hell was that all about?’
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