He’ll be born in February.
Thứ Năm, 12 tháng 12, 2019
My wisdom will kill me one day
I went to the liquor store yesterday on my bicycle, bought a bottle of whisky and put it in the bicycle basket
As I was about to leave, I thought to myself that if I fell off the bicycle, the bottle would break. So I drank all the whisky before I cycled home.
Finally, it turned out to be a very good decision, because I fell off my bicycle seven times on the way home.
Imagine what would have happened to the bottle!....
A teenage boy was delivering papers to an apartment building
A teenage boy was delivering papers to an apartment building. While there, a stunning young woman came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes wearing only a robe. The boy smiled at the young woman and she started up a conversation with him. As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on. The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact.
After a few minutes of flirting, she placed her hand on his arm and said, "Let's go to my apartment, I hear someone coming."
He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned against it, allowing her robe to fall off completely. Now nude, she purred at him, "What would you say is my best feature?"
Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, "It has to be your ears."
Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, "My ears? Look at these breasts; they are a full 38 inches and 100 percent natural. I work out every day and my ass is firm and solid. I have a 28 inch waist. Look at my skin, not a blemish anywhere, how can you say the best part of my body is my ears?"
Clearing his throat, he stammered, "Outside when you heard someone coming... that was me"
An American doctor is doing aid work in an Afghan village.
A woman in the village gives birth to a white baby. The village leader goes to the doctor and says:
“Doctor I am no fool. You’re the only white man around for miles. That baby must be yours.”
The doctor is caught off guard and as he’s pondering what to say he sees a group of goats. The goats are mostly white but there’s one brown goat. The doctor tells the village leader:
“Look over at those goats! See, sometimes this happens naturally. All those goats are white except for that one brown one.”
The village leader looks to the doctor and says:
“Ahh I see your point, doctor. Tell you what, I won’t say anything about that white baby if you don’t say anything about that brown goat”
Paratroopers from England, Scotland, France and the US were on a plane...
During World War II, four paratroopers each from England, Scotland, France and the US, were on a plane about to jump when they realized there was only one serviceable parachute.
The French paratrooper downed a glass of cognac, said "Pour la France!" and jumped without the parachute.
The American downed a glass of bourbon, said "For freedom!" and jumped without the parachute.
The Scotsman downed a glass of whiskey, said "For Scotland!" and threw the Englishman.
Đăng ký:
Bài đăng (Atom)