Ouch
Thứ Hai, 16 tháng 12, 2019
Kung Fu student asks his teacher: "Master, why does my ability not improve? I'm always defeated."
And the master, pensive and forever patient, answers: "My dear pupil, have you seen the gulls flying by the setting sun, and their wings seeming like flames?"
"Yes, my master, I have."
"And a waterfall, spilling mightly over the stones without taking anything out of its proper place?"
"Yes, my master, I have witnessed it."
"And the moon... when it touches the calm water to reflect all its enormous beauty?"
"Yes, my master, I have also seen this marvelous phenomenon."
"That is the problem. You keep watching all this shit instead of training."
An Englishman, a Frenchman and a Russian are on a train
Door opens and a beautiful young woman sits into their compartment.
After a bit, while crossing her legs, the woman accidentally farts. She goes red to the tip of her hair so the Englishman gets up and says:
"My apologies, madam, gentlemen, my lunch disagrees with me"
After a while, the woman accidentally farts again. The Frenchman shoots up like a rocket and says:
"Gentlemen, please excuse me, my lunch disagrees with me".
Then the russian gets up and says:
"I'm going out for a fag, if that bitch shits herself - it was me".
Why do pirates love reddit?
Tis the best place to trade stolen content for gold.
Edit: ARRRR! Me farst gold! Much love me matey!
A woman was angry because...
Her husband was coming home late again, so she leave a note saying “I’ve had enough and have left you. Don’t bother coming after me.” Then she hides underneath the bed so she can watch his reaction.
Soon the husband comes home. She hears him in the kitchen before the comes into the bedroom. She sees him walk up to the dress and pick up the note.
He stops for a minute. Grabs a pen, writes something down on the note. He picks up the phone and calls someone saying “She’s finally gone. Yeah I know, about bloody time. I’m coming to see you. Put on that sexy French nightie I like. I love you and I cannot wait to see you. We’ll do all the naughty things you like.”
He hung up the phone, grabs his keys, and walks out the door.
She hears the car drive off as she’s holding back tears and comes out from underneath the bed. She’s seething with rage and grabs the note to see what he wrote: “I can see your feet. We’re outta bread: be back in 5 mins.”
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