I've got an advent calendar for Jehovah's Witnesses...

Every time you open a door, someone tells you to fuck off.

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I met a baker who purposefully burnt his bread.

He would then take the ashes and sell them in clay vases.

I wouldn't think he would be able to make much money from that, but I guess he found away to urn some dough.

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I wanted to post a joke about Sodium but I was like Na, people won’t Understand.

Want to hear a joke about Sodium hypobromite?

NaBrO.

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Before my surgery my anaesthesiologist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle.

It was an ether/oar situation.

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I couldn't decide what to get my buddy for Christmas, so I got him a prostitute with an accounting degree.

It's the thot that counts.

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I saw a 4 year old girl crying, all alone

"Are you ok?" I asked her. "Do you know where your mommy and daddy are?"

"No" she sobbed

I love doing volunteer work at the orphanage

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In 2020 we're going to have an entire year of bad puns about vision

I can see it clearly.

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