They were disappointed that I wasn't A+sexual
Thứ Năm, 19 tháng 12, 2019
Thứ Tư, 18 tháng 12, 2019
A son asks his father what is the meaning of "in practice" and "in theory"
"Il show you son. Call your sister." Says the father
"Daughter would you sleep with a man for a million dollars?" Asks the father
"Yes of course, that is a once in a life time opportunity!" Answers the daughter
"Okay son now call your grandmother" Says the father
"Grandma would you sleep with a man for a million dollars?" Asks the father
"Yes I would! I would do it for you so the family can thrive financially!" Answers the grandmother
"Okay son now call your mother" Says the father
"Wife, would you sleep with a man for a million dollars?" Asks the father
"Yes! We could buy a bigger house and have loads of vacations!" Answers the mother
The father looks at his son and responds "See son, in theory, we are millionaires but in practice 3 whores live in our house!"
My dad told me this joke, it sounded better in our mother tongue.
Two old jews are sitting in a park and reading newspaper
One of them notices that the other's paper is from a really antisemite organization and basically a pure antisemitic propaganda
"What the hell are you reading? Why don't you read our jewish papers?"
"You see Chaim" the other man says calmly "When I read our newspapers all I see are pogroms, antisemitic hate crimes and it's just depressing and scary, here on the other hand" he says while showing his friend the frontpage " I'm apparently a masterminded banker, have millions in secret accounts and even rule the whole world!"
Never assume what your friends have been up to
Three ducks walk into a bar. Bar man asks the first duck: “What’s your name, and how was your day?” The duck replies: “It’s Huey and it’s been great, I’ve been in and out of puddles all day. Give me a beer, please”.
The bar man asks the second duck the same, “It’s Dewey, and I’ve also been in and out of puddles all day. Give me a beer, please”.
Finally he turns to the third duck: “so you must be Louie?”
“No” she replies, “I'm Puddles. And don’t ask. Just give me a whiskey, neat.”
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