A Guy sat next to me on the train and pulled a out a photo of his wife and said, "She's beautiful, isn't she?"

I said, "If you think she is beautiful, you should see my missus mate.

He said, "Why? Is she a stunner?"

I said, "No, she's an optician!"

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas?

I don't know, he hasn't opened it yet.

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I don't think the guy climbing the ladder above me wipes,

It was an unpleasant asscent.

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What kind of doctor is Dr. pepper?

It’s a fizzician!

I’ll see myself out

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How do you make a water bed more bouncy?

Add spring water

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What's the difference between a feminist and a grenade?

Grenade actually accomplish something when it triggers.

EDIT : NOT FROM USA NOR WHITE

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I just donated 100$ to a charity for blind children

But I doubt they'll ever see any of the money

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