Why don’t you ever see donkeys in school?

Because nobody likes a smart ass.

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The average person has sex 54 times a year...

Tomorrow is gonna be wild!

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There's a lot of controversy about vaccination, but you know what I don't get?

Measles.

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What do you call the soft tissue between a shark's teeth?

The slow swimmer

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-Doctor, ive tried everything to find love but it just wont work, what else can i do?

-Have you tried shaving your mustache?

-No

-Well you should, Karen.

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Someone pooped in the water hole again.

Well shit.

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A mathematics professor arrived home at 3 am drunk...

His wife was up waiting for him...

"You said you'd be home by 11:45!" she yelled

He responded, "No my dear, I said I'd be home at a quarter of 12."

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