What kind of STD's do fish get?

Merm-aids

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A professional limbo player walks into a bar,

He was disqualified

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My wife saw an ant picking up a leaf 5 times its body weight, and told me, “Can you imagine being that strong?”

So I picked up the leaf and said, “Yes.”

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Warning: NSFW

Standing on office chairs.

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A boob, a vagina and an asshole are debating as to who is the greatest of them all.

Boob: I give milk to new born babies and I’m attractive to the opposite sex, that’s why I’m the greatest.

Vagina: I give birth to babies and I accommodate the opposite sex, that’s why I’m the greatest.

Now it's your turn to speak.

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Since it started snowing, all my grandma has done is stare through the window.

If it gets any worse ill need to let her back in.

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When I am on my death bed surrounded by my friends and family my final words will be

"You guys want to see a dead body?"

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