You should have seen her face as I drove pasta
Thứ Hai, 6 tháng 1, 2020
A calm, respected woman walks into a Pharmacy
As she walks in, she goes right up to the pharmacist, looks him straight into his eyes and said;
"I would like to buy some cyanide,"
The pharmacist asked her;
"why in the world do you need cyanide?"
She said;
"I need it to poison my husband."
The pharmacists eyes got really big and he exclaimed;
"Lord Have Mercy I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband. That's against the law. I'll lose my license,they will throw us both in jail. All kinds of bad stuff will happen. Absolutely not. you CANNOT HAVE ANY CYANIDE."
The lady then pulls a picture out of her purse showing him her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife. The pharmacist looks at the picture and says;
"Well now thats different
You didn't tell me you had a prescription."
A guy sees a sign in front of a house that says: “Talking Dog for Sale.” He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a black mutt just sitting there.
“You talk?” he asks.
“Yep,” the mutt replies.
“So, what’s your story?”
The mutt looks up and says: “Well, I discovered my gift of talking pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running.
“The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn’t getting any younger and I wanted to settle down. So I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings there and was awarded a batch of medals. Had a wife, a mess of puppies, and now I’m just retired.”
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
The owner says: “Ten dollars.”
The guy says: “This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him, so cheap?”
The owner replies: “He’s just a big liar. He didn’t do any of that stuff.”
A teenager tells his father, “There’s water in my car’s carburetor.”
The father looks confused and says, “Water in the carburetor? That’s ridiculous.”
But the son insists, “I’m telling you, there’s water in the carburetor.”
His father is starting to get a little nervous. “You don’t even know what a carburetor is” he says, “I’ll check it out. Where’s the car?”
“In the pool.”
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