One, we are very efficient and not funny
Chủ Nhật, 12 tháng 1, 2020
A young blonde fears that her boyfriend is seeing another girl...
One day, the girl is visiting her boyfriend's apartment for lunch and stumbles across another woman's discarded garments on his bedroom floor. After sitting coolly through the meal, avoiding eye contact, she quietly excuses herself without explanation. She is incredibly hurt, and on her way home finds herself in a local gun shop, purchasing a handgun. The next day she awakens with renewed vengeance for her lover's betrayal. She dresses and immediately heads straight to his apartment, gun tucked in the back of her pants as a failsafe in case things get ugly. Not bothering to knock, she bursts into her boyfriend's apartment to find him and a brunette cuddled up on the couch. As the reality sinks in, the blonde is overcome with complete despair and rage. She whips the gun out and holds it to her own head. The boyfriend leaps off the couch and starts begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. The blonde, a vile look in her crazed eyes, entirely devoid of that love she once knew, snarls, "Shut up. You're next."
At the Olympics I saw an athletic guy carrying a long stick and asked him, "Are you a pole vaulter?"
He looked surprised and said, "Nein, I am a German. But how did you know my name is Walter?"
Thứ Bảy, 11 tháng 1, 2020
Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger
are talking to each other about their long careers as action heroes. Sly says, "You did some okay comedy, but you have the governorship and political success to be proud of."
Arnold says, "You've had so much recognition in Hollywood. I've never been nominated for an Oscar, you have have been three times. I wish I could be taken seriously as an actor."
They think about it for a few minutes, and Stallone says, "We should do a serious film. A historical."
Arnold grins his huge toothy grin, immediately warming to the idea. "A period piece. That's a great way for our acting comebacks to be taken seriously."
Stallone, as the film auteur, keeps working on it. "We want people to be emotionally affected by it. Music really moves people. Can we do something about music?"
Schwarzenegger agrees. "We could do classical music. You're Italian; you could play an Italian composer."
Sylvester says, "I'll play Vivaldi!"
Arnold Schwarzenegger says, "I'll be Bach."
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