What is it called when two flowers have an unplanned pregnancy?

An Oopsie-daisy!

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I never understood why people are surprised to hear Elvis died on the toilet.

Historically it's rare for a King to leave the throne alive.

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A lumberjack walks into a magical forest....

A lumberjack walks into a magical foret to cut a tree. He swings his ax at an old oak and it shouts, "Wait! I'm a talking tree!"

The lumberjack laughed and says, "Yes! And you will dialogue."

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I love how music takes you away to another place.

Like Mumford and Sons is playing in this restaurant

So now I'm going to another restaurant.

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A lot of things changed after my girlfriend got pregnant

Like my name, phone number, address...

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I told my psychiatrist that I’ve been hearing voices.

He told me that I don’t have a psychiatrist.

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Me: “Squirting isn’t real, right? It’s just urine, right?”

Interviewer: “I meant any questions about the job.”

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