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Chủ Nhật, 19 tháng 1, 2020

A girl killed a butterfly [Slightly NSFW]

Her father became mad and said "No butter for you"

Later, the girl killed a honeybee, her father again became mad and said "No honey for you"

The girl later killed a cockroach. Her father said "Nice try, this is Alabama"

(Sorry, English is not my first language)

I proposed my russian girlfriend and she said yes

For the wedding, my whole family and friends flew over to her home town of Moscow.

It was a beautiful ceremony, however I did find some things strange. For instance, the priest never said, "You may now kiss the bride", but I just assumed it was purely an American thing and didn't mind.

Later during the reception, we were both starving and decided to head over to the buffet to get food. On the way we passed the drink table, where about six people were waiting to get a fruity drink from a bowl.

As we passed, they all said in unison, "You may now kiss the bride!" My wife got giddy and gave me a big kiss, which I of course returned.

As we walked away I asked, "Why did they tell us to kiss and not the priest?"

My wife answered,

"In Soviet Russia, the punchline tells you!"

As I get older, I remember all the people I've lost along the way.

Then I think to myself being a tour guide is a profession I shouldn't have chosen.

Just heard that Harry is thinking of taking up painting full time after stepping down from the Royal family.

He'll be the artist formerly known as Prince.

What kind of organization does an atheist start?

A non-prophet one

What do you call a fight between an immigrant an a priest?

Alien vs. predator.

In America, dogs are K9...

In China, dogs are E10.