As I get older, I remember all the people I've lost along the way.

Then I think to myself being a tour guide is a profession I shouldn't have chosen.

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Just heard that Harry is thinking of taking up painting full time after stepping down from the Royal family.

He'll be the artist formerly known as Prince.

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What kind of organization does an atheist start?

A non-prophet one

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What do you call a fight between an immigrant an a priest?

Alien vs. predator.

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In America, dogs are K9...

In China, dogs are E10.

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I looked deep into her eyes

And my legs grew weak at the knees, my heart fluttered, and the butterflies started in my stomach.

I knew, in that moment, I'd roofied the wrong glass...

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I like my women like I like my baristas.

Jenna please come back I don't know how to make coffee.

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