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Thứ Sáu, 31 tháng 1, 2020

Doctor just told a nun that she is pregnant.

Nun: "Doctor, you can't be serious - I haven't had sex with a man even once in my entire life! I am saving myself for God!"

Doc: "Sorry, but the tests show undoubtedly that you are pregnant..."

Nun leaves the doctor in anger and bursts back into church shouting: "Ok, who in the name of the God HAD CUM ONTO THE CANDLES!!!"

I think my wife is putting glue on my rifle collection.

She denies it, but I'm sticking to my guns.

What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?

If we don't get some support, people are going to think we're nuts!

How much space will Brexit free up in the EU?

1GB

In his grandfather's overcoat pocket, a man finds a ticket for shoes left for repair in 1955

A man is cleaning out his grandfathers home after the grandfather passed away at 90.
In one of the grandfathers old overcoats pockets he finds a ticket for some shoes that the grandfather had left to be repaired, dated from 1955.
In curiosity the man checks online and is surprised to see that the shoe shop was still in business and is still at the same location.
The man enters the shop and starts talking to the owner. The owner explains that he is, in fact, the grandson of the original owner and has worked in the shop all his life.
The man gives the ticket to the shop owner and he heads into the back of the shop just to see if the shoes are still there.
After some time he returns from the back of the and exclaims "Amazingly I was able to find the shoes! They will be ready on Monday."

Women always call me ugly until they find out how much money I make.

Then they call me ugly, and poor.

Anal sex is like getting your first crappy and old bike

You don’t want it but your dad is going to give it you anyway