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Chủ Nhật, 2 tháng 2, 2020

How did the dentist become a brain surgeon?

The drill slipped.

What's the difference between Trump and a flying pig?

The letter F

Two rednecks flew to Canada on a hunting trip.

They chartered a small plane to take them into the Rockies for a week hunting moose.

They managed to bag 6. As they were loading the plane to return, the Pilot said the plane could take only 4 moose.

The two guys objected strongly. "Last year we shot six. The pilot let us take them all and he had the same plane as yours."

Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six were loaded. The plane took off. However, while attempting to cross some mountains, even on full power, the little plane couldn't handle the load and went down.

Somehow, surrounded by the moose bodies, only the two rednecks survived the

crash.

After climbing out of the wreckage, Billy Ray asked Billy Bob, "Any idea where we

are?"

Billy Bob replied, "I think we're pretty close to where we crashed last year."

A man was driving down the road and ran out of gas. Just at that moment, a bee flew in his window.

The bee said, 'What seems to be the problem?'

'I'm out of gas,' the man replied.

The bee told the man to wait right there and flew away. Minutes later, the man watched as an entire swarm of bees flew to his car and into his gas tank. After a few minutes, the bees flew out.

'Try it now,' said one bee.

The man turned the ignition key and the car started right up. 'Wow!' the man exclaimed, 'what did you put in my gas tank'?

The bee answered,

‘BP’

A man is away on vacation and phones his brother to see how things are at home.

-Hi Gary, how's everything going?

-Oh, not so good. To start your cat died and...

-Hold on a sec, Gary. You don't ruin someone's vacation and give bad news just like that. You have to be subtle. You could've just said "Oh, the cat's up on the roof right now" or something, so I don't get upset and ruin my holiday.

-Sorry, I never heard that before.

-Well, that's ok, I guess you just didn't know. How's Dad doing?

-Ahh, he's up on the roof right now.

When I was in college, I was rejected by all fraternities because I was circumcised.

Apparently you needed to be a complete dick.

There was a little boy who needed $10 and he prayed to God for two weeks to get the money...

But nothing happened. Then he decided to write a letter to God to ask for the $10. When the post office was to sort out the boy's letter addressed to 'God, America', they decided to deliver it to President Donald Trump. The President was impressed, touched and entertained by the boy's letter. He told his secretary to send $2 to the boy. The President thought it would be a lot of money for the little boy. The boy was happy to receive money from God, so he sat down to write a thank-you note that read:

  • Dear God, thank you for sending me the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you sent it via Washington, and as usual, the devils took 80% of it!