"Are you going to keep it?" I asked.
She said, "No, it stinks like wee."
Thứ Ba, 4 tháng 2, 2020
Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, enticing, female Poodle.
The three male dogs fall all over themselves in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but end up arriving in front of her at the same time.
The males are speechless before her beauty, slobbering on themselves and hoping for just a glance from her in return.
Aware of her charms and her obvious effect on the three suitors, she decides to be kind and tells them, “The first one who can use the words “liver” and “cheese” together in an imaginative, intelligent sentence can go out with me.”
The sturdy, muscular black Lab speaks up quickly and says “I love liver and cheese.”
“Oh, how childish,” said the Poodle, “That shows no imagination or intelligence whatsoever.”
She turned to the tall, shiny Golden Retriever and said “How well can you do?”
“Ummmm...I HATE liver and cheese,” blurts the Golden Retriever.
“My, my,” said the Poodle, “I guess it’s hopeless. That’s just as dumb as the Lab’s sentence.”
She then turns to the last of the three dogs and says, “How about you, little guy?”
The last of the three, tiny in stature but big in fame and finesse, is the chihuahua.
He gives her a smile, a sly wink, turns to the Golden Retriever and the Lab and says, “Liver alone, cheese mine."
Thứ Hai, 3 tháng 2, 2020
Ed and Ted were standing at the urinals in a public lavatory..
when Ed glanced over and noticed that Ted’s penis was twisted like a corkscrew.
“Blimey,” Ed said. “I’ve never seen one like that before.”
“Like what?” Ted said.
“All twisted like a pigs tail,” Ed said.
“Well what’s yours like?” Ted said.
“Well straight like normal,” Ed said.
“I thought mine was normal `til I saw yours,” Ted said.
Ed finished what he was doing and started to give his old boy a shake down prior to putting it back in his pants.
“What did you do that for?” Ted said.
“Shaking off the excess drops,” Ed said. “Like normal.”
“Shit,” Ted said. “And all these years I’ve been wringing it!”
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