A young guy goes to a doctor, complaining that his penis has turned orange.

A young guy goes to a doctor, complaining that his penis has turned orange. The man looks healthy enough, dressed well, clean shaven, etc., but when the doctor asks him to pull down his pants, sure enough, his penis is bright orange! The doctor has never seen a case like this before, so he begins to a full work-up on the patient. His temperature is good, his blood pressure is fine, blood tests come back normal... so the doctor says to the guy, "Everything physically appears fine with you. Let's discuss your lifestyle... tell me about your average day? Is it stressful?"

The guy replies, "Not stressful at all, doc. See, I was born into money, I have never worked a day in my life. I have all I need; multiple homes and cars, beautiful art, women on my arm at any time, nothing is stressful! I literally just sit around all day, watching porn and eating Cheetos..."

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Two conspiracy theorists arrive in heaven

God says to them, “I will tell you anything you want to know”

One of the conspiracy theorists asks, “who shot JFK?”

God responds, “it was Lee Harvey Oswald, acting alone”

The conspiracy theorists turn to each other, “this is bigger than we thought”

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A man is sitting at a bar, staring at his drink

A man is sitting at a bar, staring at his drink, not moving. After about 20 minutes of this another man notices and walks over and grabs the drink from the man and gulps it down. He sets the glass down and looks at the man he just stole from, waiting for a reaction. The man who had his drink stolen slowly turns to the man who took his drink and says,

"I've had a really bad day. My alarm clock didn't go off this morning so I was late to work, which got me fired. When I went to drive home I found my car had been stolen. In the cab I took to get home my wallet fell out and I lost it. When I get home I find my wife in bed with the neighbor. And now, when I finally get the courage to kill myself, somebody drinks my poison. "

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Tim has been dating his girlfriend for months, but he was never able to get her to orgasm...

He tried everything. Different positions, speeds, different lubes, even different music playing in the background. Nothing worked. Finally, she complains that she's just too hot during sex, and being all sweaty kills the mood.

So not having an electric fan to cool them down, Tim invites his roommate Big Jake in and asks him to fan them with a towel while they make love. Jake agrees.

So Tim's fucking away while Jake stands there fanning the two of them with a towel. Still nothing. The girl doesn't even come close to climaxing.

Finally after half an hour, Jake humbly suggests, "I think I know what's wrong. Maybe we should switch just once." Tim is desperate to finally please his woman, so he agrees.

Jake climbs on and starts fucking Tim's girl while Tim stands there fanning with the towel. Within minutes, she's having multiple screaming, moaning, thrashing, squirting orgasms as Big Jake thrusts away.

Tim grins, triumphantly. "You see, Jake!" he says. "Now this is how you fan a girl with a towel!"

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Eminem is the first celebrity to be diagnosed with the corona virus

In a statement he said his palms were sweaty knees weak arms were heavy and presented to the emergency room the vomit on his sweater already .Later tests conclude it was in fact moms spaghetti

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A priest, a rapist and a paedophile walk into a bar.

He orders a beer.

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How many Game of Thrones seasons does it take to change a lightbulb?

Eight, if you want to screw it completely.

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