Should have seen it coming Jesus!

Judas: still on for Friday? Jesus: Friday? Judas: yeah, the last supper Jesus: the what? Judas: supper, normal supper with the fellas...

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Three women met up in a bar.

After talking about what they've all been through, and they've all had a few drinks, their conversation takes a personal turn and they start talking about how loose they are. One says, "I can fit a while sausage." Another says, "I can fit a cucumber. " The third woman says nothing, and just slides down the barstool....

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How many police officers does it take to change a light bulb?

None they just beat the room for being black...

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I previously suffered from premature ejaculation my GF got me some cream that reduces sensitivity

It 100% totally work's now i don't give a fuck about that bitch....

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Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?

He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them...

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BECOMING IRISH

Seven-year-old Mohammad entered his classroom in Dublin on the first day of school.. "What's your name?", asked the teacher. "Mohammad," he replied. "You're in Ireland now," replied the teacher, "so from now on you will be known as Mick." Mohammad returned home after school. "How was your day, Mohammad?" his mother asked. "My name is not Mohammad. I'm in Ireland and now my name is Mick." "Are you ashamed of your name?" his mother asked. "Are you trying to dishonor your parents, your heritage, your religion? Shame on you!" And his mother beat the...

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Why don't americans eat snails?

Because they like fast food....

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