Clearly did a good job, because I didn't care
Thứ Hai, 10 tháng 2, 2020
Storm Ciara
I just asked Siri "surely it's still not going to be stormy tomorrow?"
Siri replied, "yes it will be and don't call me Shirley"
Realised my phone was in Airplane mode
Can’t a girl just say Good Morning to a guy like a normal person?
Is it really necessary to ask “Who are you” “How did you get in my room” “Why are you naked”.
Chủ Nhật, 9 tháng 2, 2020
A husband will only have sex with his wife on one condition
A married couple of 20 years were as normal as could be, bar one little quirk the husband had in the bedroom.
He'd only have sex with the lights off.
The wife assumed he merely had some shame in the penile department, but she loved him, so happily obliged. An added bonus was that it felt like he was actually reasonably well-equipped downstairs, so everything was good.
However, 20 years of blind sex took its toll on her and their relationship. In the middle of one of their love-making sessions, the wife dived for the lamp and turned on the light.
She saw her husband with his pants on and a dildo in hand.
There was a brief moment of silence, then the wife sternly stated "You have some explaining to do."
The husband looked her dead in the eye and said "I'll explain this when you explain the kids".
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