jerry can.
Thứ Sáu, 14 tháng 2, 2020
Dave walks into a bar
He is served a pint of lager. "1 penny please" said the barman "1 penny? a pint of lager is just 1 penny? said Dave "That's right, all beers are just a penny today" said the barman. after he had about 5 pints, he asks for a bottle of wine "That's also a penny a bottle, in fact you can have 3 bottles of wine for just 2 pennies" said the barman. Dave can't believe it, this is the greatest bar ever. He orders 100 bottles and still has change in his wallet. "How much for a whiskey" he asks "Whiskey is free today, in fact all spirits are free..what would you like? said the barman Dave orders every full bottle from all the shelves and calls for a taxi to take him home and to load up all the booze. Before he leaves he says to the barman "Sir, you are the greatest bar owner I have ever met" "Oh I'm not the owner" said the barman "I just work here" "Where's the owner?" asks Dave "He's in a hotel somewhere with my wife" "What's he doing with her there there?" asks Dave The barman replied "The same thing I'm doing to his business"
The Duck Hunter
A hunter is out in the country one day and waiting for ducks to fly by.
After a while he sees a duck, points his gun and shoots it. The duck falls to the ground onto some farmland nearby. The hunter walks over the the farm and sees a farmer holding the dead duck.
"Hey that's my duck!" says the hunter.
The farmer replies, "Well, it fell onto my land, so it's my duck."
"Well, I shot it, so it's my duck" says the hunter.
The farmer says "How about we settle this country style?"
"What's country style?" asks the hunter.
"Well, first I kick you in the nuts, then you kick me in the nuts. And we keep on kicking each other in the nuts until one of us can't take it no more. Winner gets the duck."
The hunter thinks about it for a bit and decides to go for it.
So the farmer hauls his leg back and kicks the hunter square in the nuts. The hunter's eye bug out and he falls to the ground writhing in pain and clutching his swelling ballsack. After 10 minutes or so the hunter finally recovers and stands up.
"Okay, it's my turn now" says the hunter.
And the farmer says, "Nah, keep the duck."
How do kids tell you their grandparents called?
60s kids: Grandma called.
70s kids: Gramps called.
80s kids: Granny called.
90s kids: Grandmother called.
Kids now: Boomerang.
Thứ Năm, 13 tháng 2, 2020
What’s a pirates least favourite letter?
Dear sir,
Your internet access has been terminated due to illegal usage.
Sincerely, your service provider.
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