Who can drink two litres of Gas?

jerry can....

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Dave walks into a bar

He is served a pint of lager. "1 penny please" said the barman "1 penny? a pint of lager is just 1 penny? said Dave "That's right, all beers are just a penny today" said the barman. after he had about 5 pints, he asks for a bottle of wine "That's also a penny a bottle, in fact you can have 3 bottles of wine for just 2 pennies" said the barman. Dave can't believe it, this is the greatest bar ever. He orders 100 bottles and still has change in his wallet. "How much for a whiskey" he asks "Whiskey is free today, in fact all spirits are free..what...

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The Duck Hunter

A hunter is out in the country one day and waiting for ducks to fly by. After a while he sees a duck, points his gun and shoots it. The duck falls to the ground onto some farmland nearby. The hunter walks over the the farm and sees a farmer holding the dead duck. "Hey that's my duck!" says the hunter. The farmer replies, "Well, it fell onto my land, so it's my duck." "Well, I shot it, so it's my duck" says the hunter. The farmer says "How about we settle this country style?" "What's country style?" asks the hunter. "Well, first I kick you in the...

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An r/jokes subredditor walks into a bar and the bartender immediately makes him an exotic cocktail. "How'd you know that's what I wanted?"

"You come here every fucking day and it's always the same fucking thing."...

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How do kids tell you their grandparents called?

60s kids: Grandma called. 70s kids: Gramps called. 80s kids: Granny called. 90s kids: Grandmother called. Kids now: Boomerang....

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Judge : I order you to pay £10,000

MARIO : why Judge : it’s a fine MARIO : (sadly) no itsa not...

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What’s a pirates least favourite letter?

Dear sir, Your internet access has been terminated due to illegal usage. Sincerely, your service provider....

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