My girlfriend is the square root of -100.

She’s a perfect 10, but purely imaginary.

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Before my surgery my anesthetist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle.

It was an ether/oar situation.

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Where do little jokes come from?

Well, a dad joke meets yo momma joke at a bar and then they knock knock.

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My girlfriend warned me she would break up if I didn't stop making jokes about oral sex.

I said "That's hard to swallow."

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Holocaust survivor dies

He goes before God and starts telling him holocaust jokes.

God says “My son I don’t know what you’re doing, but this isn’t funny.”

The man says”Oh well, I guess you had to be there.”

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Whats the hardest thing about having sex with a blind woman?

Getting her husband's voice juuust right

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My mother always used to say "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach"

Nice lady and all, I truly loved her, but a terrible surgeon

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