My boss, who is a fit woman, caught me in the shower room after work.

She said to me "Would you mind taking my blouse off?"

I replied, "Certainly," and took it off.

Then she turned around and said, "Would you take my skirt off too?" So I removed that as well.

Then she finally asked me to take her underwear off, so I did that too.

Then she looked at me and said, "If I ever catch you wearing my clothes again, you're fired"

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Three sisters get married, each to another man

The men's now mother in-law decides to test all of them.

She decides to take each of them on a walk separately.

The mother in-law takes the first guy on a walk. She "accidentally" falls into a deep pond. The man doesn't hesitate, he jumps in and saves her. The next day, the man gets a phone notification that he received 500 dollars with the description: "thanks for all you did for me - Your mother in-law, Sarah

She then tests the second guy and again, "accidentally" falls into the same pond. He doesn't hesitate either, and jumps in to save her. The next day, he too gets a notification on his phone that he received 500 dollars, also with the description: "thanks for all you did for me - Your mother in-law, Sarah

She then tests the third guy and again "accidentally" falls into the pond. The guy looks around if anyone can see, decides that no one is watching, and walks away. The next day, he gets a phone notification that he received 500 dollars aswell with the description: "thanks for all you did for me - Your father in-law, James"

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I was going down on my girlfriend

Then I said 'Geez you got a big pussy! Geez you got a big pussy!' She said 'why did you say it twice?' and I said 'I didn't'".

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Thank you student loans for getting me through college.

I don't think I'll ever be able to repay you.

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What do you call a group of men waiting for a haircut?

A barbercue.

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A man is sitting outside enjoying his morning coffee when he notices his neighbor jumps off his horse, walks behind him, lifts up his tail, and kisses him right where the sun don't shine...

Curious, he walks over to his neighbor and asked him,"Excuse me Bob, did you just do what I thought you did."

"What might that be?"his neighbor answers back.

"Well near as I can tell, it looks like you hopped off old Bessie here, walk behind her, lifted up her tail, and kissed her right where the sun don't shine!"

"Oh that.Well I have chapped lips."his neighbor answers back.

"Well does that heal them?"he asks.

"No,but it sure keeps me from licking them."

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When single ladies get to the age of 50, they tend to get lots of cats.

This phenomenon is known as many paws

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