Pinocchio, Snow white, and Superman

Pinocchio, Snow White, and Superman are out for a little stroll in town one afternoon enjoying the sunshine.

As they walked, they come across a sign: "Beauty contest for the most beautiful woman in the world."

"I am entering!" said Snow White.

After half an hour she comes out and they ask her, "Well, how'd ya go?"

"I won First Place!," said Snow White.

They continue walking and they see another sign: "Contest for the strongest man in the world."

"I'm entering" says Superman.

After half an hour, he returns and they ask him, "How did you make out?"

"I won first place too." answers Superman. "Did you ever have a doubt?"

They continue walking when they see a third sign: "Contest - Who is the greatest liar in the world?"

Pinocchio quickly enters the contest. After half an hour he returns with tears in his eyes.

"What happened?" they asked.

"Who the hell is Donald Trump ?" asked Pinocchio.

Read More

A Reddit user, a Reddit user, and a Reddit user walk into a bar.

The first one orders a coke. Five minutes later the second one orders a coke and the whole bar starts cheering, another five minutes later the third one orders a coke and the whole city erupts in thunderous applause.

Read More

I'll be celebrating my birthday next month, but only for half a minute.

It's my thirty second birthday after all.

Read More

I’m sick of martial arts.

I have kung flu.

(Brought to you by my 8 year old)

Read More

A mailman notices a mailbox with the flag up

A mailman notices a mailbox with the flag up

So, he opens the box and picks up the letter. He glances at it briefly to make sure it is stamped, and then puts it in his bag with his other letters. When he gets back to his office, the letter goes in a big bin with all of the other out-going mail. He thinks nothing of it, and finishes his day.

A few days later, he delivers the exact same letter to the same house that he picked it up from. He glances at the mailing address and observes that it is indeed the same as the return address. Anyone can make a mistake, so the mailman puts the letter in the mailbox so that the customer can readdress it for its proper recipient. He thinks nothing of it and finishes his day.

The next day, the mailman sees the same mailbox with the flag up. He opens the box and again sees the same letter, nothing changed, but with a new stamp on it. The mailman is perplexed, and thinking to save the customer both time and money, decides to ring the doorbell and inquire about the letter.

Ding-dong, ding-dong. Ding-dong, ding-dong. Ding-dong, Ding-dong.

The door opens and standing there is a stout Buddhist monk, dressed in traditional garb.

“Pardon me, sir,” the mailman says, “but you seem to be trying to mail this letter again, and without any changes to the address, it’s only going to end up back at your home in a few days.”

“Ah, my letter. Thank you so much for mailing it the other day, it was greatly appreciated. Please do so again” replies the Buddhist monk.

“But sir,” says mailman, “you will only waste a stamp, and this letter will be re-delivered to your home a few days from now.”

“But that is my intention, dear man,” replies the Buddhist monk. “You see, reposting is the best way to get karma.”

Read More

I just formed a grunge band and named it "1023 Megabytes"

... haven't gotten a gig yet though.

Read More

Coronavirus update: Everyone at John Lennon airport has been quarantined.

Imagine all the people

Read More