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Chủ Nhật, 8 tháng 3, 2020

Man sits at a bar and orders five shots...

the bartender asks the guy, "What's up bud? You look rough."

"Well," says the man, "I just found out my dad is gay and he's left my mom for some pool boy."

"Ouch," says the bartender, "here, these are on the house today."

A few days later the same guy comes in and orders another five shots. "Oh no man, what happened this time?" The bartender asks.

"Just found out my brother is gay, he's left his wife for a man he met at a gay bar last week."

"I'm sorry man," the bartender says, "these are on the house."

Just one week later the guy comes in again and orders ten shots. The bartender asks, "Man! Doesn't anyone in your family like women?"

The guy responds, "Yeah...my wife."

Why don't churches have WiFi?

They don't wanna compete with an invisible power that actually works.

Through my career as a lumberjack I’ve cut down exactly 32,548 trees.

I know because I’ve kept a log.

Man says to his boss, "Can we talk? I have a problem."

Boss: "Problem? No such thing, we call it an opportunity!"

Man: "Ok, I have a serious drinking opportunity."

(NSFW) What is the difference between love, true love, and just showing off?

Spitting, swallowing, and gargling

How many cops does it take to push a black man off the stairs?

None, he fell off.