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Thứ Bảy, 11 tháng 4, 2020

A guy and a girl are going to prom together.

She wants a new dress, so they spend time shopping for the dress and he stands in line for the checkout for a very long time, but eventually makes it to the counter to buy the dress for her.

She also asks for a corsage, so the guy goes to the floral shop to buy her a corsage. The line is very long but eventually he is able to purchase her a corsage.

She asks to take a limo, and so the guy goes to rent a limo but the line is really long to rent a Iimo. Eventually he pays for the limo and they go to the prom together.

When they get to the school, there's a line to get in, and after waiting awhile they're finally at the prom.

She asks if he would go get her some punch, so he goes over to the table and there's no punch line.

How is sex like a game of bridge?

If you have a great hand, you don't need a partner.

6 months ago a man stumbles across a genies bottle and is granted three wishes

He tells the genie "I am a simple man. All I wish for is to spend more time with my family, have a shorter commute and a case of Corona"

If I had a dollar for every racist thing I've said

some minority would probably mug me for it.

An elderly couple is in church. The wife says to the husband, "I've let out one of those silent farts, what do I do?"

The husband says, "Change the battery in your hearing aid."

Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father.

He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Johnny asked, "Dad, why are you doing that?
His father replied, Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy. Johnny, looking worried, said, "Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom."