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Chủ Nhật, 26 tháng 4, 2020

When I was about 9 years old, my father forced me to go with him to the funeral of a friend of his, that I didn't know.

When we got there, I stayed in a corner, waiting for time to pass by. Then a man approached me and said, "Enjoy life boy, be happy because time flies. Look at me now.... I didn't enjoy it." He then passed his hand over my head and left.

My father, before leaving, forced me to say goodbye to the dead person. When I looked in the coffin, I was startled that the man who was talking to me when I was in the corner was the same man in the coffin!

For several years later, I was not able to sleep properly. With repeated nightmares and psychological disorder, I was terrified of being alone. I visited many psychologists. I didn't turn off the light at night and several other turmoil that I had to endure throughout my adolescent ages....

Years later I discovered something incredible that changed my life.

That dead idiot had a twin brother.

I decided to kill off some characters in the book I am writing

It would definitely spice up my autobiography.

"Waitress, can I ask you something about the menu please?"

Waitress: slaps me right across the face

"The men I please are none of your damn business!"

My wife wants me to get my coffee at home to save money.

If she really wants me to save money she should give me sex at home.

COP: Where were you the night of the murder?

CROW: I was with a group of friends

COP: What would you call that group?

CROW: …I want a lawyer

How easy is it to get reddit karma?

It's a piece of cake.

BREAKING: North Korean leader in a vegetative state following surgery.

They've begun calling him Kim Jong Un-Responsive