They're really for the kids, but the dads always end up playing with them...
Thứ Sáu, 1 tháng 5, 2020
A man walks into a pet shop and says to the owner.
"Ok I want to buy a pet, but I don't want a boring or normal pet - no cats, dogs, or birds - I want something different." The pet shop owner informs him that he has a talking centipede. "Really?," the main replied, "How much?" The owner informs him that the talking centipede is $50. Happy with the unusual offering, the man pays the money and takes his new pet home.
On getting home he lays the match box with the centipede in it on the table, opens it and says "Hello Mr. Centipede, fancy going to the pub for a few drinks?" The centipede says nothing....
My girlfriend invited me to her house to watch Netflix.
She says “Stay here, I have to do laundry really quickly.”
Out of nowhere, her sexy sister comes in and sits by me.
She asks “Do you want to have sex before she gets back?”
I got up and went straight to my car.
My girlfriend was outside the door and hugged me, and said “I knew I could trust you.”
Moral of the story: always leave your condoms in the car....
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