Funny Story

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Thứ Hai, 11 tháng 5, 2020

A man and his date were parked on a back road at night, far away from prying eyes when his date stopped him from going any further.

"I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I'm actually a hooker and I charge $20 for sex." The man reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing.

After a cigarette, the man just sat in the driver's seat looking out the window. "Why aren't we going anywhere?" asked the girl.

"Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I'm actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $25."

My girlfriend gave me a handjob using Vaseline the other day.

I came three times in the shower trying to wash it off.

A naked man arrives at a costume party with a girl on his back.

"I'm a turtle", he says.

"Oh... who's on your back?"

"That's Michelle", he replies.

My son told me he didn't understand cloning.

I told him, "That makes two of us".

I dressed up as a gifted kid for Halloween.

When my neighbors asked what I was supposed to be, I sadly replied, "I was supposed to be a lot of things..."

I just found out my girlfriend just gave me an STD....

Looks like I’m gonorrhea-valuate the relationship

What's E.T. short for?

He's only got little legs