The sweater I bought recently kept picking up static-electricity, so I returned it to the store.

They gave me another one, free of charge.

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What do you call a closet full of lesbians?

A liquor cabinet.

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Police arrested two kids yesterday

one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one - and let the other off.

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My life completely changed after I learned Morse Code.

Last night, for example, I couldn't fall asleep because the rain kept telling me to go fuck myself.

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A small meteorite is reportedly headed for Lego Land

The damage is expected to be about 50 square blocks

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What do you call a hot chick in Boston?

A tourist

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How does a reddit user get karma if they don’t deserve it?

Piece of cake

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