Genius
Thứ Sáu, 15 tháng 5, 2020
My wife walked in on me while I was watching porn.
In a panic reflex I instantly changed to a random channel, the fishing channel.
As my wife walks out again she says: "you should stay on the porn channel... you know how to fish."
A guy is golfing by himself and shanks a ball hard.
He yells, "Goddamn it all to hell!"
St. Peter hears him and asks God, "Aren't you going to do anything about that?"
God says, "Yep."
Next hole is a long par five over water ending in a dog leg. The guy tees up and crushes the ball. It hits the water but just as it does, a turtle surfaces. The ball bounces off the turtle's shell and gets another hundred yards. Just as its about to stop rolling, a squirrel runs over and grabs the ball before being immediately snatched by a gorgeous red tail hawk. The hawk flies him off and just over the green the squirrel drops the ball. The ball hits the green, rolls and falls in the hole.
Most amazing par five hole-in-one in history.
St. Peter, astonished says, "You call that punishment?"
God replies, "Yep. There was nobody around to see it."
Guy wanted to take his wife duck hunting
She'd never been hunting so they prepared the night before.
She made breakfast and lunch for the trip while he got all the hunting stuff clean and got his dog, Butch, ready for the trip. They went to bed early.
The next morning, the guy got up and went to check on everything. It was nasty out, 28° and a freezing rain. He got his wife up.
She looked outside and said, "There's no way I'm going out in this weather, forget it."
He said, "Well, you promised, so if you back out now at the last minute, you have to either suck my dick or let me put it in your butt."
She thought it was waaaay too early for butt sex, so she decided to blow him.
She starts off nice and slow, but then lifts her head and says, "What the hell? Your dick smells like shit!"
He said, "Yeah well, the dog didn't want to go either."
Đăng ký:
Nhận xét (Atom)