I’m from Alabama and I don’t appreciate all the jokes Reddit makes about my home state. I told my dad, my uncle, and my grandpa about it.

When he found out he was madder than hell.

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What did 50 cent do when he was hungry ?

58

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How do you stop an anti-vaxer from drowning?

Take your foot off his head.

** Edit: Some people PM'd me to tell me they found this offensive. I reread it and I agree. Here is the updated version of the joke:

Q. How do you stop an anti-vaxer from drowning?

A. Take your foot off his or her head.

Again, I apologize to any feminists out there for my originally posted version.

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A girl reached into my pants today and said

I know there is a joke here but I can't find it.

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What do you call a beehive that has no exits?

Un-bee-leavable

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The coach grimaced as he watched his young ice hockey team. At one point during the game, he called one of his 7-year-old players aside and asked, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?" The little boy nodded affirmatively...

"Do you understand that what matters is not whether we win or lose, but how we play together as a team?"

The little boy nodded once more.

"So..." the coach continued. "I'm sure you know that when a penalty is called, you shouldn't argue, curse, attack the referee, or call him a pecker-head. Do you understand all that?"

Again the little boy nodded.

He continued, "And when I call you off the ice so that another boy gets a chance to play, it's not good sportsmanship to call your coach a dumb asshole, is it?"

The little boy nodded yet again.

"Good." said the coach. "Now go over there and explain all that to your mother."

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I was struggling to get my wife's attention

So I simply sat down and looked comfortable, that did the trick

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