Cabbie looks in his rear view mirror & sees the hooker spreading her legs with no panties on & he says “Got anything smaller?”
Thứ Hai, 18 tháng 5, 2020
There was an old professor who started every class with a vulgar joke.
After a particularly nasty one, the women in the class decided to walk out the next time he started. The professor got wind of this, so the following day, he walked in and said, “Class, did you hear about the shortage of whores in India?” all the women stood up and headed for the door. “Wait, ladies!” cried the professor. “The boat doesn’t leave until tomorrow!”
A United States Marine was deployed to Afghanistan.
A United States Marine was deployed to Afghanistan.
While he was there he received a "Dear John" letter from his girlfriend.
In the letter she explained that she had slept with two guys while he had been gone and she wanted to break up with him. To add injury to the insult, she said she wanted back the picture of herself that she had given him.
So the Marine did what any squared-away Marine would do. He went around to his buddies and collected all the unwanted photos of women he could find. In all, he got more than 25 pictures of various women (some with clothes and some without).
He then mailed them to his now-former girlfriend with the following note: "I don't remember which one you are. Please remove your picture and send the rest back."
A rabbit is hopping through the woods. Hop! Hop! Hop! When he comes upon a giraffe. Now, this giraffe is about to smoke some weed. The rabbit looks up at the giraffe and say, "Giraffe, don't smoke weed! Weed is a drug and drugs are bad, come running with me through the forest!"
The giraffe looks at the weed, then looks at the rabbit, then back at the weed.
The giraffe tossed his blunt aside and they go running through the forest together. Run! Run! Run! Hop! Hop! Hopping along.
Soon they come to a clearing with a sheep.
This sheep is about to shoot up heroin.
The rabbit says to the sheep, "Mr Sheep, don't do heroin! Heroin is a drug and drugs are bad for you! Come running with us through the forest!"
The sheep looks at the heroin, then looks at the rabbit, then back at the heroin.
The sheep tossed his needle aside and they go running through the forest together.
Run! Run! Run! Hop! Hop! Hopping along.
Soon they come to a clearing and in this clearing is a tiger.
Now, this tiger is about to drink a can of beer.
The rabbit looks at the tiger and says, "Mr Tiger, don't drink beer! Alcohol is a drug and drugs are bad for you! Come running with us through the forest!"
The tiger looks at his beer, looks at the rabbit and back his beer.
He takes a claw and cracks open the beer and proceeds to carefully place it down beside him.
He gets up and walks over to the rabbit, lifts up a paw and starts mauling the shit out of the rabbit!
The giraffe and sheep are in shock.
And they scream, "Dude, what the fuck!? He was just trying to help you!"
The tiger turns to them and growls, "Every time that fucking rabbit does cocaine, I end up running through the fucking forest!"
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