My friend said his laxatives worked really well.

He was lying. He was full of shit.

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A big storm pulled my entire back fence out of the ground, I need some help fixing it.

Anybody on this site have experience in reposting?

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Women are the only creatures to defy the laws of gravity.

The heavier they are, the easier they are to pick up

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What's the most sarcastic body of water on earth?

The Crimea River.

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Dad, why is that book so thick?

"It's a long story"

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Why can’t Severus Snape be a herbology teacher?

He can’t keep the lilies alive.

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Five gangsters walk past a local diner

The owner runs out the door and up to them saying, "Excuse me, I've got a problem and you're the only ones who can solve it!"

The gangsters look at each other confused and ask, "What, why us man?"

"I'll explain later, just come with me!" The owner replies. The curious gangsters follow the owner into the diner, and then they enter the kitchen. In the back, a man is furiously scrubbing metal pots and pans so hard that he's damaging them.

The owner points at the man and says, "My new dishwasher guy is scrubbing the dishes too hard! He's scratching them up and refusing to stop! At this rate, I'm going to have to replace all my dishes!"

One of the gangsters rolls his eyes and says to another gangster, "Yo G, I got this."

The gangster taps the dishwasher on the shoulder and says, "Dude, ease up on those dishes."

But the man keeps scrubbing. Another one of the gangsters says, "That won't do it, G," and he tries to spin the dishwasher around to face them, but the dishwasher man won't budge. "C'mon idiot, ease up on those dishes!"

But the man is still scrubbing. The third and fourth gangsters try shouting in the man's ears, "EASE UP ON THOSE DAMN DISHES!"

But the man scrubs away. Finally, the fifth gangster has had enough and start pulling on the dishwasher to get him away from the sink and the dishes. Another G joins in, followed by the rest, pulling as hard as they can.

But it's no use, and they all fall to the floor exhausted while the dishwasher keeps scrubbing, no sign of easing up on the poor dishes.

The owner is shocked and shakes his head in disbelief, "I can't believe it, I was sure this would work."

The fifth gangster looks at him exasperated and says, "Dude, why the hell did you think this would work? What can five gangsters do against a dishwasher who's basically superman?"

The owner replies, "I know it sounded crazy and I had no evidence to prove it, but I really thought that 5Gs could cause dish ease."

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