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Go to Blogger edit html and find these sentences.Now replace these sentences with your own descriptions.

Thứ Năm, 28 tháng 5, 2020

Why is gum similar to guns?

If you take one out during class, everyone starts acting like your friend.

“I have a split personality”

Said Tom, being frank

Thứ Tư, 27 tháng 5, 2020

A Klansman, a murderer and a domestic abuser walk into a bar

Bartender asks: "What will it be, officer?"

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago , another is from Tennessee , and the third is from Minnesota .

All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The Minnesota contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well," he says, "I figure the job will run about $900: $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me."

The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me."

The Chicago contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, "$2,700."

The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?" The Chicago contractor whispers back, "$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence."

"Done!" replies the government official.

And that, my friends, is how the new stimulus plan will work.........

I’m reading a horror novel in Braille.

Something bad is about to happen. I can feel it.

Did you hear about the guy who’s left side was cut off?

Now normally I would say he’s all right. But actually he’s dead.

It's my cake day, so better post a joke about cakes... Why couldn't the Teddy bear finish his birthday cake?

Because he was already stuffed...

Sorry, I'll do better next year - definitely Muffin that I will repeat again!