Me: Leave that to me
later at dinner
Her dad: coughs I need water
Me: Oh no! Grandpa needs water!...
Thứ Ba, 2 tháng 6, 2020
Early one morning a fat kid was sitting in an airport terminal eating a giant size candy bar.
An older man strolled by and saw the boy.
He stopped abruptly and asked "Hey kid, do you think it's a good idea to be eating a giant candy bar for breakfast?"
The boy replied "I don't know, but my grandpappy lived to be 102 years old."
The old man said "I'm sure he did, but he didn't eat giant candy bars for breakfast did he"
The boy shook his head "Nope. he just minded his own fucking business."...
A married man was having an affair with his secretary
One day, their passions overcame them in the office and they took off for her house. Exhausted from the afternoon's activities, they fell asleep and awoke at around 8 p.m.
As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt.
Confused, she nonetheless complied and he slipped into his shoes and drove home.
"Where have you been?" demanded his wife when he entered the house.
"Darling," replied the man, "I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my secretary. I fell asleep in...
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