What did the deaf person think when he won the auction?

I’ve won, but at what cost?...

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This farmer has about 500 hens, but no rooster, and he wants chicks. So, he goes down the road to the next farmer and asks if he has a rooster that he would sell.

The other farmer says, "Yep, I've got this great rooster, named Kenny. He'll service every chicken you got, no problem." Well, Kenny the rooster costs $3,000, a lot of money, but the farmer decides he'd be worth it. So, he buys Kenny. The farmer takes Kenny home and sets him down in the barnyard, but first he gave the rooster a pep talk "I want you to pace yourself. You've got a lot of chickens to service here, and you cost me, a lot of money; consequently, I'll need you to do a good job. So, take your time and have some fun, "the farmer said,...

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A d‌‌og s‌‌ees a‌‌ "‌‌Now h‌‌iring" p‌‌oster o‌‌utside o‌‌f a‌‌ c‌‌omputer s‌‌tore.

T‌‌he p‌‌oster r‌‌eads: "Must b‌‌e a‌‌ble t‌‌o t‌‌ype. M‌‌ust b‌‌e a‌‌ble t‌‌o p‌‌rogram. A‌‌nd m‌‌ust b‌‌e b‌‌ilingual. W‌‌e a‌‌re a‌‌n e‌‌qual o‌‌pportunity e‌‌mployer." The d‌‌og t‌‌akes t‌‌he p‌‌oster i‌‌n h‌‌is m‌‌outh, a‌‌nd w‌‌alks i‌‌n. T‌‌he m‌‌anager s‌‌pots t‌‌he d‌‌og, a‌‌nd d‌‌ecides t‌‌o h‌‌umour i‌‌t, p‌‌ulling u‌‌p a‌‌ c‌‌hair a‌‌nd a‌‌ c‌‌omputer w‌‌ith a‌‌ w‌‌ord p‌‌rocessor. "‌‌Alright, i‌‌f y‌‌ou w‌‌ant t‌‌o w‌‌ork h‌‌ere, y‌‌ou n‌‌eed t‌‌o f‌‌irst w‌‌rite a‌‌ l‌‌etter," a‌‌nd l‌‌eaves t‌‌he r‌‌oom. 30 m‌‌inutes l‌‌ater, h‌‌e...

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Yo mama so fat

Before she was buried the earth was flat...

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Just watched Captain America: Civil War for the first time

Couldn't get enough, so I looked out of the window to watch America: Civil War....

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BREAKING: Trump signs an Executive Order renaming the San Andreas Fault

to Barack Obama’s Fault...

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A Nun was praying when the priest approached her

The Priest Lightly Tapped the Nun on the shoulder and asked her to follow him The Priest Walked Away and The Nun quickly followed not far behind him They arrived In a Room Behind the Church The Priest Went inside the room and gestured for the Nun to do the same "Sister, Close The Door" Said The Priest "Jesus If Something ever happens please forgive my soul" Prayed The Nun "Sister Lock it" Said The Priest "Jesus If Something Ever Happens Please Forgive My Soul" Prayed The Nun "Sister Close The Window Curtains" Said The Priest "Jesus If Something...

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