We all make fun of them, but when we’re inside one at 4am we’re glad they’re around.
Thứ Hai, 8 tháng 6, 2020
A man goes into a pub, and the barmaid asks what he wants. "I want to bury my face in your cleavage and lick the sweat from between your breasts" he says.
"You dirty prick!" shouts the barmaid, "Get out before I fetch my husband!" The man apologises and promises not to repeat his gaffe.
The barmaid accepts this and asks him again what he wants. "I want to pull your pants down, spread yoghurt between the cheeks of your arse and lick it all off" comes the reply. "You dirty filthy pervert. You're banned! Get out!" she storms. Again the man apologies and swears never ever to do it again. "One more chance" says the barmaid.
"Now what do you want?" she asks as the man returns. "I want to turn you upside down, fill your cunt with Guinness, and then drink every last drop". The barmaid is furious at this personal intrusion, and runs upstairs to fetch her husband, who's sitting quietly watching the telly. "What's up, Love?" he asks.
"There's a man in the bar who wants to put his head between my breasts and lick the sweat off" she says. "I'll kill him! Where is he?" storms the husband. "Then he said he wanted to pour yoghurt down between my arse cheeks and lick it off" she screams. "Right, he's dead!" says the husband, reaching for a baseball bat. "Then he said he wanted to turn me upside down, fill my cunt with Guinness and then drink it all..." she cries. The husband stops, puts down his bat and then returns to his armchair and switches the telly back on.
"Aren't you going to do something about it?" she cries hysterically. "Look love... I'm not messing with someone who can drink 12 pints of Guinness."
Trump’s being driven through a backroad out to the White House...
Trump’s being driven through a backroad out to the White House one night when suddenly, the car lurches to a halt.
The driver explains that a pig from a nearby farm wandered onto the road and he hit it. Trump is a bit annoyed, but tells the driver, "Just go to their house, tell them you're my driver, and apologize."
A while later, the man returns, seeming incredibly satisfied. Trump asks how the family reacted, but the driver said they seemed in good spirits and even gave him some of their dinner.
Back on the road, the driver hits another pig that wandered onto the road. He goes and tells the farmer's family, but when he comes back, he says the family was overjoyed and gave him a bottle of liquor.
The driver hits a third pig that was on the road, but this time, Trump secretly follows him to see why the people would be so happy.
When the farmer comes to the door, the driver announces, "I'm President Trump’s driver, the pig is dead!"
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