A pretty girl kissed me today

I wish I could post this in another subreddit.

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A priest, a minister and a rabbit walk into a blood bank

The Rabbit says "I think I'm a Type O"

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I think I have a fetish for figuring things out...

“What makes you think that?”

I just came to that realization.

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‌‌After a‌‌n e‌‌xcitingly h‌‌ot 6‌‌9 p‌‌osition w‌‌ith h‌‌is g‌‌irlfriend, J‌‌erry r‌‌emembered h‌‌e h‌‌ad a‌‌ d‌‌entist a‌‌ppointment.

He w‌‌as a‌‌fraid t‌‌he d‌‌entist w‌‌ould s‌‌mell P‌‌ussy o‌‌n h‌‌is b‌‌reath s‌‌o h‌‌e b‌‌rushed h‌‌is t‌‌eeth s‌‌everal t‌‌imes, g‌‌argled 1‌‌/2 a‌‌ l‌‌itre o‌‌f L‌‌isterine and u‌‌sed d‌‌ental f‌‌loss a‌‌s w‌‌ell.

As h‌‌e a‌‌rrived a‌‌t t‌‌he d‌‌entist h‌‌e s‌‌ucked o‌‌n t‌‌wo s‌‌trong m‌‌ints. H‌‌is t‌‌urn c‌‌ame u‌‌p a‌‌nd t‌‌he d‌‌entist asked him to t‌‌ake a‌‌ s‌‌eat. F‌‌eeling c‌‌onfident a‌‌nd r‌‌elaxed J‌‌erry o‌‌pened h‌‌is m‌‌outh w‌‌ide. T‌‌he d‌‌entist g‌‌ot c‌‌lose e‌‌nough a‌‌nd s‌‌aid, "‌‌Man, d‌‌id y‌‌ou h‌‌ave a‌‌ 6‌‌9 b‌‌efore y‌‌ou c‌‌ame h‌‌ere?"

Jerry s‌‌aid, "‌‌Does m‌‌y b‌‌reath s‌‌mell l‌‌ike p‌‌ussy?"

The d‌‌entist r‌‌eplied, "‌‌No, y‌‌our F‌‌orehead s‌‌mells l‌‌ike s‌‌hit"

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An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian.....

.... an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Irishman, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Japanese, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monacan, a Mongolian, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Northern Irishman, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a San Marinese, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scottish, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Taiwanese, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian or Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turkish, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian and a Zimbabwean all go to a nightclub... The doorman stops them and says sorry I cant let you in without a Thai.

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It was 11 years ago today that my pal Joey came running out of that room shouting “it’s a boy” “it’s a boy” with tears streaming down his face.

We never went back to Thailand.

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It takes me 5 minutes to walk from my house to the bar, but 25 minutes to walk home.

The difference is staggering.

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