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Go to Blogger edit html and find these sentences.Now replace these sentences with your own descriptions.

Thứ Năm, 11 tháng 6, 2020

A Police Officer was waiting along the side of a highway waiting to catch speeding drivers. There weren't as many violators this day as usual. The State Police Officer sees an old car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!"

So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five elderly ladies, two in the front seat and three in the back--wide eyed and white as ghosts.

The driver, obviously confused, says to him, "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?" "Ma'am," the officer replies, "You weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers." "Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly... Twenty-two miles an hour!" the old woman says a bit proudly. The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that "22" was the route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error. "But before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask... is everyone in this car OK? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven’t uttered a single word this whole time," the officer asks with concern.

"Oh, they'll be all right in a minute officer. We just got off Route 215."

If you only sucked average sized penises...

You could accurately say that you suck a mean dick.

Trump goes to Russia to have dinner with Putin...

After dinner they’re hanging around the palace smoking cigars when Putin says “watch this”.

He rings a little bell and this beautiful Russian girl walks in, gets on her knees in front of him, and starts sucking his dick.

After a few moments Putin smacks her on the back of the head and yells “stop!”, and without a word she gets up and walks out of the room.

Putin turns to Trump and says “you wanna try?”

“Sure” Trump says, “but don’t smack me on the back of the head please, that looks like it hurts”.

The show COPS has been dropped from broadcast

honoring the longstanding tradition of police turning off their cameras.

Life is like a dick

Some times its up, sometimes its down, but it wont be hard forever.

Too bad life is short.

The madam of a whore house answered the ring of the bell and, on opening the door, she found standing there on the threshold, an ancient, bearded gentleman in Rabbi's garb.

"May I come in?" asked the Rabbi gently in an aged, quavering voice. Feeling a little confused, the madam said, "But Rabbi, surely you must be in the wrong place. Here is where we..."

"I know what you do here," interrupted the Rabbi. "You don't think I came here for chopped liver, do you? Bring on the girls."

Still confused, but understanding her professional duties, the madam had several girls line up. The Rabbi tottered from one to another until he reached Rose, a large redhead with enormous breasts. He looked at her with appreciation and pointed, "Good! I'll take those."

The Rabbi paid out the necessary sum and Rosie led him upstairs. She helped him off with his coat and hung it up carefully on the nail on the door. Then she helped him off with the rest of his clothes and got into bed. There, to Rosie's astonishment, the Rabbi performed with an address and a skill that was unbelievable. In fact, Rosie, a hardened professional, found herself surprised into orgasm.

As they lay in bed a few minutes afterwards, relaxing, Rosie said, "How old are you, Rabbi?" The Rabbi said, "God has been good to me. I am eighty-eight years old." "That is certainly amazing. Listen, Rabbi, if you're ever in the neighborhood again and if you should feel in the mood, please ask for me - Rosie. I would be delighted to oblige you."

The Rabbi said, with a certain hauteur, "What do you mean, if I should be in the mood again? Let me sleep for five minutes right now and, believe me, I will be in the mood again." "Really, Rabbi? Then please take a nap."

"Okay." The Rabbi adjusted himself into a relaxed position, face up, placed his arms across his chest and then said, "Wait one minute. This is important. While I'm asleep, scoop up my testicles with your right hand and hold them an inch above the sheet, without moving them. Keep them absolutely motionless." "Of course, Rabbi," said Rosie, and did as she was told, holding the Rabbi's testicles free of the sheet. For five minutes the Rabbi slept, then woke with a start and said, "I'm ready." And so he was, for, to Rosie's delight, he was even better the second time than the first. As she lay panting, Rosie said, "It was wonderful, Rabbi, but one thing I don't understand. Why was it necessary to hold your testicles motionless above the sheet while you were sleeping?"

"Oh that," said the Rabbi. "Well, you are a nice girl and I like you very much. Still, the truth is I don't know you very well, and over there, in my coat, hanging on the hook on the door, is fifteen hundred dollars.”

Last week someone broke into my house and stole 20% of my couch.

Ouch.