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Thứ Bảy, 4 tháng 7, 2020

I WRITE ALL MY JOKES IN CAPITALS...

THIS ONE WAS WRITTEN IN PARIS.

A Tibetan monk sees the face of Jesus in a tub of margarine.

He raises his eyes to the heavens and exclaims "I can't believe it's not Buddha!"

Have you heard about the restaurant called karma?

There's no menu, you get what you deserve.

The wife said she's leaving, because of my sexual fetishis

I said that's great! Slam the door on my cock on the way out

Like father like son...

A young boy says to his father "Dad, our math teacher is asking to see you."

"What happened?" The father asks.

"Well, she asks me, 'how much is 7x9?' I answer '63' , then she asks, 'and 9x7?' so I asked 'what's the fucking difference?' "

"What is the difference?" asks the father. ''Sure, I'll go.''

The next day, the boy comes home from school "Dad, have you gone by the school?" He asks.

"Not yet."

"Well when you do, come and see the gym teacher also."

"Why?" asks the father.

The boy explains, "Well, we had a gym class today, and he asked me to raise my left arm, I did. Then my right arm, I also raised it. Then he asked me to lift my right leg, so I did. 'Now,' he says, 'lift your left leg,' so I asked 'What, am I suppose to stand on my dick!?'"

"Exactly," says the father. "Alright, I'll come."

The next day, the boy asks his father "Did you go to the school?"

"No, not yet."

"Don't bother, I got expelled."

Surprised, the father asks "Why did you get expelled?"

"Well, they summoned me to the principal's office, and sitting there were the math teacher, the gym teacher, and the art teacher."

"The fuck was the art teacher doing there!?" asks the father.

"That's what I asked!" said the boy.

My friend and I had arranged a meeting to insult each other but he didn't show up

It was a diss appointment

If you see a robbery in an Apple store,

Does that make you an iWitness?