Dirty bastards.
Thứ Tư, 8 tháng 7, 2020
A man smelling of alcohol and weed sat next to a priest on a bus.
The man’s clothes were ragged and dirty, there was pink lipstick on his collar, and an almost empty bottle of rum stuck out of his pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading.
A few minutes later he turned to the priest and said, "Tell me Father, do you happen to know what causes arthritis?"
The priest replies, "My son, it's caused by sinful behavior, spending time with prostitutes, abusing alcohol and drugs, an unclean body and mind, and disrespect for others."
“Damn,” replied the drunk before returning to his paper.
Thinking about what he said, the priest tapped the man on the shoulder and apologized for being too stern. Trying to be empathetic, he asked the man how long he has had arthritis.
The man answered, "I don't have it. I just read here that the Pope suffers from it."
A little girl runs up to her mother and says "mummy, daddy hanged himself in the basement!"
Upon hearing the news the mother breaks down in tears and, shakily, makes her way into the basement.
When they get there, the woman cannot see the father's corpse. The little girl then exclaims "April fools! Daddy did it in the garage"
A Dutch joke about the Brits and their love for queues, don’t know if it translates well
A Brit walks down the street and sees two queues. He gets behind one of them, and asks the woman in front of him:
“What is this queue for?”
“Just for fun” says the women.
“But what if I don’t want to stand in the queue?” The Brit asks.
To which the woman replies “that’s what the other queue is for”
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