Hill areas
Thứ Ba, 14 tháng 7, 2020
The Pope is visiting Canada.
After completing his visit, the Canadian government gives him a chauffeur-driven car to see the natural beauty of Canada. After 20 kilometers through Canada, he says to the driver:
"Oh, let me get behind the wheel. I'm from the narrow Papal States, and I always have to sit in the back of the popemobile. even though I am such a passionate driver!" So the chauffeur swaps seats with the Pope.
After a few kilometers, the Pope is stopped by a police officer. The Pope winds the window down and the policeman immediately runs back to his car. From there he calls his superior:
"Lieutenant , i have a problem. I have a speeder here."
"What is the problem? Just fine him!"
"I think he is a big shot though."
"Is he higher ranked than me?"
"Lieutenant, i believe that is the case."
"Is he higher ranked than the prime minister?"
"Lieutenant, i am afraid that is the case."
"Who is he then?"
"I don't know, but the Pope is his chauffeur."
Two women go to heaven and meet St Peter
He told the two women you can do anything you want here in heaven but please do not step on a duck because they make a terrible noise and racket.
The two women agreed and entered heaven. One day, one of the women accidently stepped on a duck and sure enough it made such a terrible noise and racket, soon after that St. Peter came over to her with an ugly man next to him and immediately chained him to the woman and she sadly walked away with the ugly man.
The other woman was shocked and took extra precautions not to step on a duck and after much time had passed St Peter came over to her with a handsome man and chained him to her. The woman excitedly blushed and looked at the man and said, I am not sure what I did to get chained to you, but this is great, and the handsome man looked at her and said, I am not sure , all I did was step on a duck.
Three men die and appear before Buddha...
Stunned by the divine presence before them, they lower their heads.
-Raise your heads. You were humble in life and your deeds were praiseworthy. You have earned the right to a reincarnation of your choice. You have much to accomplish yet though.
One of the people takes a step forward and speaks, seemingly troubled.
-Benevolent Buddha, what more could I possibly do in my next life? I thought I lived and acted to the fullest. Because of my work almost the entirety of the earth's population will never starve.
-My work was also to the extend of my abilities, says the 2nd one. Right now, the world I leave behind enters a revolutionary era were medicines can cure anything, such was my contribution.
-My connections in life pushed all countries into an agreement of indefinite world peace, says the 3rd person.
-I know all of your actions well. But that is still not enough. Here, let me show you a true example of someone who achieved everything that I ask for. They are waiting for the perfect reincarnation.
The three people now both curious and excited follow Buddha to a small building. Their jaws drop when they find just an ordinary person inside. So ordinary that not even a small detail on that person sparks the tiniest interest. Before the Buddha can say anything else they all rush towards him.
-Impossible, yells the 1st person! Such a plain human being! You! What was your work during your earthly life?
-Who? M-me? I only had two part time jobs, nothing else that I can remember. During the morning hours I worked in a small plantation. Fruits and vegetables.
-You're joking! shouts the 2nd person. And the second job?
-Oh...that one was a bit odd. My village had a signboard were people would post their ads, job offers etc. But because the signboard was old, those would sometimes come off. My job was to put them back in their place.
-This is preposterous, yells the 3rd person! How could you possibly have amassed such an amount of karma with just those two insignificant jobs of yours?
-W-well, I don't know what to tell you. But I've really done nothing else, just farming and reposting.
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