Two guys invited a prostitute to a hotel room

They decided to do it separately so the first guy goes in the room while the other is waiting at the lobby. Then the first guy comes out, the second guy asks: ''How was she?'' First guy answers: ''She was okay, but she was nothing compared to my wife.'' Then the second guy goes in the room. Then he comes out and says: ''You are right, she is nothing compared to your wife.''...

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I just saw my math teacher lock himself in his office with a piece of graph paper.

I think he must be plotting something....

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There is a law that says you don't have to wear a mask

It's called Natural Selection...

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A man is sitting at a bar...

He has been there for three hours just nursing a beer with a shit eating grin on his face. The bartender (after noticing this man has purchased nothing more) walks up to him and says "Dude. You've been here forever with that warm beer, and that dumb smile. What the hell are you so happy about?" The man replies "I'm so happy someone asked. Last night I got hustled in a game of pool, lost big on the poker table, and I lost my damned keys." The bartender fires back "So why are you so fucking happy?" He looks the bartender in the eye "I found a woman...

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I got pulled over and my vape was in my cup holder.

The cop said “you know, the news says those things are killing people.” I chuckled and said “they’re saying the same thing about you guys.” He didn’t laugh....

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Damn girl, are you a piñata?

Cause imma need a blindfold to hit that....

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I once dated this girl who had a twin.

People always asked me how I could tell them apart. Simple: Jane paints her nails purple. John has a cock....

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