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Thứ Hai, 3 tháng 8, 2020

[OC] Hey girl, are you a keyboard?

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Because you're something I might just smash out of frustration.

My dick was in the Guinness Book of World Records...

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... until the librarian kicked me out.

Young woman in a muscle car: " Is there a problem, Officer?"

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Officer: "Ma'am, you were speeding. "

Woman: "Oh, I see. "

Officer: "Can I see your license please? "

Woman: "I'd give it to you but I don't have one. "

Officer: "Don't have one? "

Woman: "Lost it 4 times for drunk driving. "

Officer: "I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please! "

Woman: "I can't do that. "

Officer: "Why not? "

Woman: "I stole this car. "

Officer: "Stole it? "

Woman: "Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner."

Officer: "You what?!!?! "

Woman: "His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see. "

The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: "Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!"

The woman steps out of her vehicle, and asks: "Is there a problem sir? "

Officer 2: "One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner!"

Woman: "Murdered the owner? "

Officer 2: "Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please."

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: "Is this your car, ma'am? "

Woman: "Yes, here are the registration papers. "

Officer 2: "One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license. "

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: "Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner."

Woman: "Betcha the lying bastard told you I was speeding too!"